From a limited sexual life to a full sexual life.
It's common, especially when one begins a sexual life, to go through awkward moments. And surely, if you've begun a process of self-reflection, you've realized that all these discomforts arise from various thoughts, ideas, or beliefs that others have shown us about what sexual intercourse should be and how it should be experienced.
Well, these same thoughts are also the cause of many embarrassing or frustrating episodes: Have you ever, no matter how hard you've tried, found reaching orgasm impossible? Have you or your partner ever ejaculated earlier than desired or been unable to ejaculate at all? Have you ever had pain during penetration? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this article is essential to help you begin to understand why.
It turns out that sex education has been a taboo subject for many years, so we grow up learning about our sexuality through trial and error, through other people's comments, and through what we are barely and shamefully told at school or by our parents.
Most of this information is incorrect and in itself begins to generate different emotions, we can highlight three , the most important: Fear, shame or guilt. And you may wonder fear, shame or guilt of what, I will give you several examples: Fear of getting or leaving pregnant, fear of acquiring an STI, fear of sharing my sexual fantasies, shame of the appearance of my body, shame of the technique I implement in different stimulations, shame of showing myself inexperienced or novice in something, guilt when feeling that my partner is not satisfied, guilt when doing things that I was told I shouldn't do or even think... and so I could continue with countless more situations. But why do these emotions end up disturbing or limiting the way I relate to sexuality? In principle, because experiencing these emotions basically generates discomfort, but it is also because the hormonal production that we generate when we experience these emotions acts as an antagonist to the hormonal production that we need to generate to enjoy sex in the best way. This is why, when thoughts appear that end up generating these emotions during sex, we generate sexual responses that we do not want , such as not finding orgasm, feeling pain during penetration, or not being able to control ejaculation.
Okay, how do we solve this? Easy, we can start managing these emotions. To learn how to do this, we invite you to follow us on Instagram at @Owna_care. There, with the help of our sexologist, you'll learn how to manage them so that they no longer limit the way you relate sexually to others. From a limited sex life to a fulfilling one. Fear, shame, or guilt: why do these emotions end up disturbing or limiting the way I relate to sexuality?
Author - Lincy Acosta Psychologist, Sexologist