Sexuality and Motherhood: Reconciling with Our Pleasure After Becoming Mothers
Becoming a mother transforms every aspect of your life: your body, your schedule, your priorities... and even your sexuality. However, talking about desire, pleasure, or intimacy at this stage remains taboo. At Owna Care , we believe that motherhood shouldn't be synonymous with disconnecting from oneself. On the contrary, it can be an opportunity to rediscover our bodies and desires from a more honest and powerful place.
What happens to sexuality after becoming a mother?
After giving birth, many women experience physical and emotional changes that affect their sex lives. It's not just a "lack of desire," but a combination of factors:
- Hormonal changes that reduce vaginal lubrication and alter desire.
- Extreme tiredness and lack of sleep.
- Physical pain or discomfort after childbirth in the vaginal area.
- A transformed identity that sometimes moves away from eroticism.
- Mental load that leaves little room for pleasure.
- Changes in your body and self-esteem.
All of this can lead to emotional and physical disconnection. And most worryingly, many feel guilty for even thinking about pleasure. However, while we spoke with some mothers who described these symptoms, others even reported increased desire but a lack of time to satisfy it. We concluded that every experience, both in motherhood and sexuality, is different. However, there is one factor that should be the main focus of this new stage as a couple, and that is COMMUNICATION.
Recovering pleasure is not selfish, it is self-care
Reconnecting with your sexuality isn't a betrayal of your role as a mother. On the contrary: a woman who feels good about herself is more present, more whole, and more alive .
Here are some steps to help you reconnect, along with Owna Care products that can help you in the process:
Explore without rushing: Self-eroticism is a great tool for feeling confident in your body again, without judgment or expectations. Use a mirror, lubricant, and a gentle vibrator. Permission is what matters. At this stage, we recommend starting with external stimulation, gradually discovering new pleasure with our vibrators, and using SUC or REM-OTTO, which can be great tools for this new journey.
Communicate your needs: Talking with your partner (if you have one) about how you feel, what you need, and what you're not ready to do is essential. Desire doesn't always come naturally. Sometimes it needs new, safe, and loving stimuli. As a couple, embrace this new stage in your lives without letting sexuality leave the relationship. It's not always necessary to reach sexuality, so we recommend starting with self-discovery and couple games, exploring hot/cold sensations with massage candles, going on "dates" like the old days, and, why not? Watching a spicy movie.
Talk to other women: Sometimes, what we need most is to know we're not alone. Motherhood is lonely, and sharing among women can be a balm.
Seek professional support if you need it: Pelvic physiotherapy, psychological counseling, or sexual counseling can be essential allies.
Your body isn't broken, it's just experiencing a new cycle: There's no "right" way to experience sexuality during motherhood. Some women regain their desire quickly, others take months (or years). Some feel more sensual than ever, others experience confusion or guilt.
The important thing is to understand that there's nothing wrong with you if you feel your desire has changed. You are alive; your body is speaking, and it deserves to be listened to with compassion and curiosity, not with blame or demands.
At Owna Care we are here to remind you that pleasure is also yours
Our commitment is to you, to your right to feel, to explore, to enjoy. That's why we design experiences and products that support you throughout all your stages—including motherhood—from a place of self-love and autonomy.
If you're rediscovering your sexuality as a mother, we embrace you. You're not alone. Here's a safe space for you.
✨ Your pleasure is also a form of self-love.
✨ Your body deserves to be heard.
✨ And you are not alone.